"I love you." Mike said again with that same look. He was waiting for me to respond in the same manner.

I tried to hold back the tears about to roll down my cheeks but I mustered to say, "I love you too, Mike."

"So, why are you crying? Are those love tears? Or just tears of love? Haha.... Ooops, they're one and the same.", Mike gave me a smirked giggle and hugged me tenderly. "I wish you don't stop loving me. I can't imagine a moment in my life without you loving me."

"I love loving you, Mike. I can't imagine my life not loving you. I wish we can stay in love forever." I said. But I was still crying. Full of pain in my heart. I thought love makes one's heart glad?

There was no doubt Mike and I were deeply in love with each other.

I remember this look of love. It was the same look Patrick had when he said he loved me. And I could've sworn Mike was Patrick in another life had it been he was chubbier. I don't remember why I suddenly thought of Patrick when I am having the best time of my life in Mike's arm today. Why can't Patrick pick a better time?

I should be happy because I had a second chance on love. I think I am happier with Mike now than I was with Patrick. Plus Mike is less complicated.

But everytime i think about how familiar this emotion is, I can't help but think about the pain this same emotion gave me. Just thinking about it pains me deep inside already. Mike is still here with me but I can now feel the pain he will leave me with if he stops loving me... or me stop loving him.

And I woke up crying.........

excerpt from aisa's nocturnal journal, 11.21.02