Do you know this phase in your life where everything seems so real, and yet it's not?
Classic example. My Alimasag Life. When i was new to this forum, i got so immersed and so glued to it that alimasag became real to me. I got so emotionally attached to it, i got so physically drained, i got so involved in it that i thought alimasag was real. It was real in a way. They are real people, of course. A corporeal entity assuming a role, an image, a personality. I got attached to their usernames, avatars and persona they happen to be projecting. There were lots of times that i got disillusioned, hurt, elated, proud, jealous, angry, raged, sympathetic, empathic, pathetic, and pacute. ;-) When i get too emotional with alimasag, i had to REMIND myself, it's not real! Regardless of how i feel for alimasag, it's still not real. My emotions may be real..... but it doesn't matter, because alimasag will never be real. So, i detach myself. I just play my role. I just play along. Remove any emotional attachment i may have. Not really remove, but not to think of it as REAL. Not to take it too seriously kasi it doesn't matter how and what i feel kasi Alimasag will never feel the same way for me.
And then i got to know the real people behind their avatars and usernames. Made good friends with them in the process. They know my real name already, what i do, where i live, what i hate, what i love, what ticks me off, what moves me... all those. Later on, we get together to make a step forward and pursue real life friendships. I made good, honest to goodness friends with a lot of them already. some, i haven't had the chance to see eye to eye yet, but have maintained a decent level of friendship with them as well. i realized that those who want to meet me face to face wants to be more real. and yes.... most of them, i learned to be more than cyberfriends with. we hang out, we shop, we meet up to have lunch or dinner... those sorts. across the continent, across the pacific ocean, across california, across the street-- whatever. And then it gets to be real! Good thing i'm over that phase with alimasag already.
So anyway, i'm in that phase again. You know, when you get too close... and realize you can't be close enough? You know the emotions are real, but can't be real? You know that you can dream, but can't dream? You know there's something there at the end of the tunnel, but there was no tunnel to speak of in the first place? And that whatever it is you feel, you want to put some meaning into it, or purpose-- ... but there really is no reason, meaning, nor purpose. And then, you ask yourself why. And nobody is there to answer you why. You ask yourself, what for? Nobody hears you say what for. Because it's not real.
I need to Get Real!
Classic example. My Alimasag Life. When i was new to this forum, i got so immersed and so glued to it that alimasag became real to me. I got so emotionally attached to it, i got so physically drained, i got so involved in it that i thought alimasag was real. It was real in a way. They are real people, of course. A corporeal entity assuming a role, an image, a personality. I got attached to their usernames, avatars and persona they happen to be projecting. There were lots of times that i got disillusioned, hurt, elated, proud, jealous, angry, raged, sympathetic, empathic, pathetic, and pacute. ;-) When i get too emotional with alimasag, i had to REMIND myself, it's not real! Regardless of how i feel for alimasag, it's still not real. My emotions may be real..... but it doesn't matter, because alimasag will never be real. So, i detach myself. I just play my role. I just play along. Remove any emotional attachment i may have. Not really remove, but not to think of it as REAL. Not to take it too seriously kasi it doesn't matter how and what i feel kasi Alimasag will never feel the same way for me.
And then i got to know the real people behind their avatars and usernames. Made good friends with them in the process. They know my real name already, what i do, where i live, what i hate, what i love, what ticks me off, what moves me... all those. Later on, we get together to make a step forward and pursue real life friendships. I made good, honest to goodness friends with a lot of them already. some, i haven't had the chance to see eye to eye yet, but have maintained a decent level of friendship with them as well. i realized that those who want to meet me face to face wants to be more real. and yes.... most of them, i learned to be more than cyberfriends with. we hang out, we shop, we meet up to have lunch or dinner... those sorts. across the continent, across the pacific ocean, across california, across the street-- whatever. And then it gets to be real! Good thing i'm over that phase with alimasag already.
So anyway, i'm in that phase again. You know, when you get too close... and realize you can't be close enough? You know the emotions are real, but can't be real? You know that you can dream, but can't dream? You know there's something there at the end of the tunnel, but there was no tunnel to speak of in the first place? And that whatever it is you feel, you want to put some meaning into it, or purpose-- ... but there really is no reason, meaning, nor purpose. And then, you ask yourself why. And nobody is there to answer you why. You ask yourself, what for? Nobody hears you say what for. Because it's not real.
I need to Get Real!
posted by Aisa at 10:21 AM
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