this is incredible. as i was packing my stuff this evening, i came across letters upon letters, pictures, panyo, diskettes, expired credit cards and a bear stuffed toy all nicely packed in a small backpack i took along with me from manila. as i read each one of them.... there was a tinge of hurt, anger, and joy all at the same time. i realized one special truth, someone did love me the way i wanted to be loved. I can't believe how nice this person is, how special he made me feel, how noble and honorable he was, how deep his love was for me.. and for most part of our relationship- i was truly selfish. geeez. I can't believe i hurt him so much too. oh man! probably, i was so much in love. nyehehehe. that i was hurting him. oh well..... i had every reason to love him anyways- he was so easy to love. what's so ironic is... i finally understood what he was relly telling me all along. probably, i just refused to understand before.... but now, after reading all his letters and poetry once more.... ngayon ko lang sya naintindihan. anubayan? is it too late? of course it's too late already!. but i really would like to tell him today na.... i should've just simply LOVED you. period. nyehehehe.

oh well..... it was good while it lasted. it was the best time of my life. and i hope it was his,too. but it's over. all i can think of now is..... what the heck do i do with his letters and stuff? they don't mean anything to him anymore anyways.. so, they're not relevant anymore. i love reading them, though. it makes me all mushy all over again. hehehe. God. How i miss to be loved as such. parang lagi kang nasa langit. parang lahat ng bagay di na importante... just make the other person happy. katawa. pang "young love, sweet love".


eto pa mas ironic.... i swore not to be in that same situation again. pero, eto na naman ako..... heading almost in the same direction as that. grrrrr..... what to do? what to do? simple lang yan. hehehe. basta!